The Emerald Banana: Part 1

Part One

To say that Taun Smar's job was interesting would be a complete and total lie. Guarding the legendary Emerald Banana – legendary because of its worthlessness – was the most boring job in the history of boring jobs. Taun would gladly take any other job, but as the newest member of the city guard he was stuck with the lowest position.

"Oh well, at least I didn't get stuck as one of the Nameless Guards."

Taun was fairly young with a wife and a son to provide for. He had brown eyes with hair to match, was not particularly handsome but wasn't ugly either, and was of average build. Wearing the standard guard uniform, leather cuirass, boots, and bracers with brown pants and polished helmet, Taun could be mistaken for any other guard.

Sighing, Taun looked behind him at the Emerald Banana. Made by the Jewelers Guild, the worthless gem was the biggest emerald ever unearthed. Carved into the distinctive shape of a banana the emerald was expected to be sold for a hundred thousand gold or more. And it would've too, if not for the discovery that emeralds couldn't be used to focus any magical energies. A gem that couldn't focus magic was useless. Now the Emerald Banana was on display at the Jewelers Guild's museum, under guard so that their work of art wouldn't ever be stolen, and then used against the guild as blackmail.

Most boring job ever.

Giving another pitiful sigh, Taun leaned against his pike with boredom. All he ever did was stand there and wait for the night watch to show up because that signaled the end of his shift.

Footsteps could be heard outside the banana's room. Probably one of the guild's members visiting the museum for inspiration, they were the only ones who visited.

The swish of a robe just outside the room caught Taun's eye. This was strange, for jewelers didn't wear robes. Taun only had a moment to realize this before there was a flash of light and the guard found himself on his back staring up at the ceiling and wondering what hit him.

"Finally, the Emerald Banana is mine!" an evil voice shouted from behind Taun and slightly to the right.

Taun sat up and looked to see his attacker. The attacker looked liked an expensively robed balding sorcerer. What hair he did have on top of his head was black with gray streaks. The rest of the hair on his head was either forming his bushy eyebrows or contained in his mustache and goatee combo. This sorcerer had a thick gold chain around his neck from which hung a ruby and smokey quartz medallion. This told Tuan that he was most likely hit by a dark fire spell that was probably supposed to kill him.

"Excuse me," Taun said from where he sat on the floor, "What do you think you're doing?" A reasonable question to ask someone who was laughing evilly while clutching the worthless Emerald Banana.

"Hey, you're suppose to be dead," the stranger said with shocked surprise.

"Never mind that, just answer the question."

The stranger gave Taun an evil smile. "Alright, I'll tell you. I, Sinidrar, am stealing the Emerald Banana to use in a doomsday device I've created to either help make me ruler of the world, or if such is not attainable, to destroy the world instead."

That was a very straightforward answer, not what Taun was expecting. Luckily though it left questions that he could ask while thinking up a solution to the situation. "You do know that emerald's are absolutely useless, right? Using one for your doomsday device would only cause you a headache."

"Yes, so it would seem, but I've discovered a new magical energy. One that can only be focused through an emerald."

"A new magical energy?"

"Yes, I've discovered the very magic of nature." With this, Sinidrar let out an evil laugh; he seemed to like the whole evil laughter thing.

Taun stood and help his pike offensively. "Even if you have discovered a new magic, you're stealing and I have to stop you."

"Oh, do you have to? Can't you let me get away with it just this once?" Sinidrar asked of the guard.

"No, I could lose my head, or worse, my job!"

"Okay, wait! Hold on a second! You care more about your job then your life?"

"Well, yeah. I have a family to provide for. At least if I die they'll have the life insurance to get them through the worse of it!"

This new information caused Sinidrar to do some thinking. "You know I'm always looking for good evil minions. How'd you like to become one? The pay is good," Sinidrar offered.

"You're offering me a job?" Tuan asked with surprise.

"Yes, in exchange for letting me steal the Emerald Banana, of course."

Taun shook his head. "I'll never become one of your evil minions."

"We have a great health plan."

"So does the city guard."

"It includes dental."

"Dental! Really? The city guard doesn't provide dental, and my son does need braces."

"So do we have a deal?" Sinidrar stuck out his hand.

Taun eyed the hand suspiciously. He took an oath to be loyal to the city guard, but a dental plan? It was so hard to find a job that offered one. Without it his son's braces were going to cost a fortune. A fortune Taun didn't have.

Taun eyed the hand again, this time with no suspicion. "Alright, you have yourself a deal." The two shook and then they, and the Emerald Banana, were gone.